In my ongoing search for “the next blue triangle” on Google analytics, I’ve decided to put my blog on Yoast.
Or I’m redoing my blog on Yoast. Or putting Yoast on my blog. Or I’m Yoasting it. Or getting Yoasted. Or whatever the hell the kids are calling it these days.
Yoast is a plug-in for WordPress blogs that improves your SEO, or search engine optimization. (SEO is, of course, what determines your Google ranking.) Given that fame has yet to find me, I thought I would go ahead and help the Hollywood producers beat a path to my doorstep by making myself slightly easier to find online. I can see it now – a captivating film about the quest of a sexy, young programmer to build a better webpage.
Until the movie deals start rolling in, I figure I should take advantage of all the free time I have available and work on some career skills. As every web developer knows, the most amazing webpage on the planet does you exactly zero good if no one sees it. And Yoast is supposed to be the best free plug-in for blog SEO. It’s very easy to install – you just go to “Plugins”>”Add New” and the search for Yoast.
Then things get slightly more complicated. Yoast then proceeds to tell you how much all of your posts suck, how you don’t make any sense, and that no one will ever make a major motion picture about you until you damn well learn how to write coherent sentences. After it has you in tears, it proceeds to walk you, step-by-step, through your flawed attempts at communication, attempting to turn your pathetic rambling into something Google can possibly make sense of.
I swear, this totally popped up on my screen. Would I lie to you?
I swear, this totally popped up on my screen. Would I lie to you?
You could say that Yoast and I have a somewhat strained relationship at this point. Yoast tells me I am as comprehensible as a drunken goat on acid, and I periodically yell insulting things regarding its intelligence at my computer screen and threaten to deactivate it. But it really is making me pay more attention to the structure of my posts and using titles that relate more than metaphorically to the actual subject of my post. It also reins in the sarcasm a bit on my alt tabs and encourages me to avoid run-on sentences. So – BEGRUDGINGLY – I recommend it.
If, on the other hand, you don’t take criticism quite as gracefully as yours truly, it could quite possibly cause you to pitch parts of your computer off a balcony. Let’s consider that my disclaimer. Your blog on Yoast may be a far less excruciating experience than mine. Maybe you have logical titles for posts. Maybe you punctuate correctly instead of rambling on for four or five lines at a stretch. Maybe you have pictures that actually pertain to your material. Pretty sure all that stuff might help…
But regardless of how Yoasted you get, the most important thing is to have fun with your writing and be yourself, and don’t ever let some stupid plugin get in the way of that. However, I could see where it might actually be helpful to tell what a post is about by reading the title, so I guess everyone has to decide on where they put that line for themselves.
In short, it’s a pain but it seems to work. I could see where it would be an incredibly powerful tool for a business site. Download it and give it a spin, then leave a comment and let me know how it’s working out for you. I’ll post something else as soon as I get some indication that putting my blog on Yoast did something. In other words, I’ll let you know when the movie deal comes through.
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